Cabotage
by luxartisan
Summary: Rin reveals news that prompts an unexpected conversation between Haruka and Makoto with predictable results.
1. Casting Off

**Cabotage ~ originally a nautical term describing the movement of** **goods or passengers between two points in the same country, along coastal waters, by an agent registered in another country.  
**

The sun has dipped below the skyline and a single star burns through the mélange of sunset sky. Three teens float in the water of the recreational harbor listening to the muffled sounds of early evening falling on a major city. It's different in Tokyo than in the Iwatobi of their shared youth – more traffic sounds, less ocean waves; more human murmur, less wind in the trees; and the sky isn't nearly as clear, but it's comforting just the same.

Haru lifts his arm and points to the twinkling pinprick of light. "Make a wish," he says.

"Don't tell me you still do that," Rin says, disbelief clear as he turns his head to see where Haru is aiming.

"I do," Makoto says, eyes closed, making the same wish he always does. Ripples lap against him, his body relaxed now that he's revealed his future plans and gotten validation from Rin, enthusiastic as always, and Haru, his small smile speaking volumes.

"Why am I not surprised about that?" Rin says, sarcasm laced with affection. "But you, Haru? Come on," he says, addressing the boy floating beside him. "I thought you were the logical, serious type. Wishing on stars is a bit—" He pauses, searching for the proper word. He's a college man now, after all. "Whimsical, don't you think?"

"It works."

Rin is tempted to laugh, but Makoto is quiet and Haru dead serious, so he simply chuffs, unwilling to spoil the tranquil atmosphere. "So, what did you wish for? No, wait, I can imagine."

"You can't, so don't." The subtle emphasis Haru puts on the last word shuts Rin up. They continue to float in silent companionship as the sky transitions from tangerine, magenta and gold to indigo, purple and black.

Without warning, Haru stands in the waist-high water and wades into shore at a quick pace. Rin and Makoto stand, Rin looking at Makoto with a questioning gaze. Makoto shrugs with a smile and follows Haru.

"Damned kids," Rin says, sounding like an irritated but fond parent.

On shore, Haru sits on the boardwalk, toes pushed into the sand while he pours excess water out of his sneakers. Makoto sits beside him, leaning back on his elbows, legs stretched out beyond Haru's. They watch Rin as he strolls towards them pushing his hair off his forehead with both hands.

"This reminds me of when we were kids," Makoto says.

"Ah," Haru says in agreement.

Rin is nearly up to them when he turns to watch the skyline while it blinks brighter with artificial light and the sky above grows dimmer, few stars able to pierce the glow, though a honeyed moon rises through the clouds on the distant horizon visible at the harbor's entrance. Without turning, he says, "Thanks for bringing us here, Makoto. Tokyo is different than Sydney and neither one is really home, but at least the ocean is still the ocean."

Makoto sits up, drawing in his knees and resting his forearms on top. "I was looking for a bookstore one day and found this place by accident. It reminds me of Iwatobi, a little, so I come here now and then. I missed home something awful at the beginning of the semester - my family, my old room, the familiar streets, even school. Everything, really. Tokyo was big, noisy, too crowded. If it wasn't for Haru being here, I might have gone back after only a few weeks." He looks at his best friend who meets his gaze and lingers.

Rin faces them and Haru looks away, but not before Rin notices how they look at one another, like two conspirators with a shared secret. He drops onto his knees and sits back, kiza style. "You were lucky to have each other. I was just a kid and by myself when I went to Australia the first time. I was excited about the swim team, but everything else was so strange."

Haru looks at Rin. "Your homestay parents seemed really nice."

"They were – are," Rin says. "Lori and Russell are great people." He tells Makoto, "They even got a dog just so I wouldn't feel lonely."

"Winnie, right?" Haru says.

"Yeah," Rin says with a chuckle.

"She's cute."

"I miss her. And Steve."

"I always wanted a furry pet," Makoto says, "but my mom has allergies, so I settled for goldfish."

Haru says, "You practically 'own' every stray cat in the neighborhood back home."

"That's true, but they like you, too."

"They like that I feed them."

Makoto's sunny countenance grows somber. "Do you think somebody is feeding them now?"

Rin says, "Cats are really independent. I'm sure they're fine though I am a little surprised to hear you got involved with it, Haru. You seem like a dog person, to me."

"Haru had a dog, once," Makoto says.

Haru looks at the water. "Makou, though it was almost Makoto."

"You know," Rin says with a sideways grin at Makoto. "I always thought it was a little odd that Haru gave his dog a name that sounded a lot like yours and you," he says with a jut of his chin, "didn't mind."

"Why would I mind?" Makoto says.

Rin shakes his head. "Typical."

"Makoto is Makoto," Haru says.

"What?" Makoto asks, genuinely confused.

Rin looks at his befuddled friend. "You are so easy-going it makes me crazy."

Makoto chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. "What's the point of getting upset over small stuff?"

"Small stuff? How 'bout any stuff? You never get upset."

Haru says, "Not true."

Rin is taken aback. "Not true?"

"I saw Makoto get upset this year."

"This I have to write down." Rin begins to air write, "Dear Diary, I learned today that Tachibana Makoto got upset about something."

"Hey," Makoto says in mock indignation. Haru is silent, bending forward to re-don his sneakers, mouth growing tighter as he recalls the incident to which Makoto refers and which Haru would rather forget.

"So," Rin says, curiosity piqued, "when was this monumental moment-?"

"Long story," Haru says in gruff manner before standing up. "It's getting late."

"Sure," Rin says, straightening up, as well. He waits for Haru to elaborate, but no words come forth. Rin nods, a knowing look on his face. "Don't tell me it was another fight between you two."

Makoto watches them from below with a grin. "It was fight, alright, but not between us, Rin." He unfolds himself to full stature with more grace than the gangly high schooler he used to be ever could. It's self-confidence, something Makoto has acquired without noticing, like another inch of height, shoulder girth and wisdom. "But I'm not at liberty to share the details unless Haru-ch, Haru, is okay with it."

Rin looks at Haru's silent profile. "Well?" Haru looks at Rin from the sides of his eyes, but says nothing. "Come on, tell me. This is called male bonding. We share things about ourselves and get closer. I actually wouldn't mind getting closer to Makoto now that I know he might be my trainer one day. Right, Mako?"

His deliberate use of the name and its implication isn't lost on Makoto, who's prepared to make a quick comeback until he spies Haru's stiff posture. He can't tell whether he's angry or upset, maybe both so he says, "Another time, right Haru?"

Haru's voice is low and steady as he says, "I'm hungry and I want to change into dry clothes."

Rin growls. "Sometimes you're a real prima donna, you know that, Nanase?"

Haru turns in place. "Like you're not?" he says in a soft but sharp tone, looking directly at Rin, whose eyes have widened.

"Hey, Haru. Rin." Makoto says over Haru's shoulder in a low voice as he watches Rin's surprise morph into annoyance. "It's been a long day for everybody. How 'bout we share a taxi instead of taking the train in damp clothes?" He looks at Haru's profile, then Rin. "We can drop you off wherever you're staying, Rin."

Rin's brow knits as he looks at Makoto, searching for an answer he's certain Makoto knows but isn't telling, the unspoken communication between his friends always a bit eerie. "No thanks," he says. "I'll call Sousuke. He came in for the race, so I offered to share my hotel room if we could use his car to get around town."

"He's here?" Makoto says. "I didn't get the chance to speak with him today. Is he doing alright?"

Rin's expression eases, then breaks into a shark-toothed grin. "Yeah, he's doing great, actually. His shoulder is healing and he expects to be swimming again soon."

Makoto smiles though he still keeps an eye on Haru. "That's awesome news. He plans to race again, right?"

A decisive nod. "If I have anything to do with it, he will."

"Then it's definite."

"Damn straight."

Makoto puts his hand up for a high-five and Rin meets it, hard, the clap reverberating in the air as they share a laugh, the tension in the air released.

Haru says in a steady voice, "Can we please go now?"

Rin gives a moue, saying, "What's up with the sudden sour mood? You were fine until a few minutes ago." Rin looks down at his sneakers, his expression shifting to one of dismay. "I'm the one who should be ticked. Just look at my sneaks now. Brand new, too."

"They'll dry," Haru says without intonation but which sounds, somehow, sarcastic.

"I bet they cost a couple thousand yen, though." Makoto says.

"Several," Rin says.

"You do have expensive taste in clothes," Makoto continues. "But you look good - most of the time." Payback accomplished for the Mako jibe, Makoto style.

"What do you mean most of the time? I look good all the time."

Makoto chuckles as Rin reaches down into his gym bag and brings out his phone. Thumbing a button, he waits. "Sousuke? Yeah. Can you pick me up? I'm in a park somewhere." He smiles at the answer he gets. "Hang on." He pauses. "Just where the fuck are we?" He receives and gives the location, then listens for a few seconds more before excusing himself and stepping away to finish his conversation.

"Everything okay?" Makoto asks Haru, who turns to meet his friend's concerned gaze and nods. Makoto squats down to grab his phone from his backpack. He stands, slinging the pack onto his back, then calls for a taxi while Haru watches the seabirds that circle the skies above them, their long wingspans telling of journeys far asea and far away. Haru's eyes are equally distant and while Makoto is glad they've shared time with Rin, he also wants time alone with Haru. Maybe they can have dinner together.

Rin rejoins them. "He'll be here in twenty minutes. He can give you guys a lift back to your dorms, if you want to save money."

"Thanks," Makoto says, "but that's out of your way and I'm sure you guys just want to get back to your hotel."

Unexpected color rouges Rin's cheeks as he says, "Whatever." Rin looks at Haru, then at the birds he watches. "You know, Haru, we have a lot of history. Some of it good, some of it not so much, but we've always managed to stay friends. I think it's fair to say we push one another to be better, at everything. I like the rivalry as long as our friendship remains solid."

"Ah," Haru says without changing his gaze or his stance.

"That goes for the both of you. I hope you know that," Rin says, looking at Makoto who nods. "And," he says, then pauses. He sees Makoto's interest, but waits until Haru turns his attention to him, as well. "As long as we're being Bro-sephs here, there's something I want you both to know."

Haru remains still while Makoto's upper body leans forward, chin dropped, eyes soft. Rin looks from one to the other as he speaks in a quiet voice. "I- uhhh- I came out a few months ago, but only to a few people, like Lori and Russell. And Gou. I haven't told my mom, which I know sounds awful but, I will, soon. Sousuke knows because he knows me better than anyone and we're sort of, kind of, together? It's a work in progress, but it's on the down low, okay? I figure you two would understand and I want to start sharing this with people I trust."

It's quiet between the three childhood friends for a full half minute. Rin looks away, then back at his friends, eyes moist, lips tight but with a slight quiver. Finally, Makoto says, "Thank you, Rin, for trusting us. Believe me when I tell you we get it more than you know."

Rin's mouth opens and he inhales a great breath, breathing out on a lopsided grin and wiping at his eyes. "I knew I could count on you guys."

Haru says, his expression unchanged but his voice soft, "The people who matter will say it doesn't matter because it doesn't."

"I wish that were true, Haru, but this isn't Europe or America," says Rin. "The Japanese press and public might not be so accepting of a gay athlete."

"So?"

"We're talking about moving onto the global stage."

"You are," Haru says and Makoto's throat tightens.

"You'll be there, too," Rin says, louder than necessary and firm, "Or I swear I'll kick your ass from here to Okinawa, got me? And don't give me your usual monosyllabic response."

Haru looks down then back at Rin and in a nonchalant manner says, "I didn't realize you knew so many big words, Matsuoka. Guess that 'whimsical' uni you're attending is doing you some good, after all."

Makoto watches their exchange with wary eyes, familiar with their banter, but ready to intervene. He's about to say something, but is stopped by Rin's raucous laughter.

"You kill me," Rin says after catching his breath.

"I'm saving that for tomorrow," Haru says in a deadpan manner.

Rin arches a brow. "We'll see about that." He picks up his gym bag and slings it over his shoulder. "Oh. One more thing." He steps into Haru's personal space, leaning in until their faces are centimeters apart. Haru pulls back a bit, but stands his ground. With narrowed eyes Rin says, "You're a scary-good swimmer, Nanase Haruka, and cool as fuck, but you also walk on the weird side and this guy," he says pointing two fingers gun-style over Haru's shoulder at Makoto, who waits with a bemused expression on his face, "is a prince. Don't take that for granted 'cause friendship is great but," and here his voice drops into a more seductive tone, "you can have what you both know you both want."

Rin's face shifts to one side so he can see Makoto, whose ears are bright red, but whose eyes are shining. "Maybe it's old news, but if not, 'bout time it was, don't you think?" he says, before stepping back.

He saunters away with a wave of his hand, leaving Makoto and Haru frozen in place as they watch Rin's familiar figure grow smaller until he mounts the staircase at the end of the park. He disappears and they are, for the first time that day, together and alone.

 **Author's Notes: All I wanted when I watched _Free!_ in August of 2017 was to see about the fuss and fury. I watched _S1_ and _S2_ , thought it was a cute sports anime and that was that. But no, something had hooked into me so I watched again, paying closer attention and yup ~ I fell into the hole of a new fandom. I wan't looking for a new otp, yet when Makoto and Haru had their fight in Eternal Summer, I cried. That's when I knew I'd fallen in love with Them – stupidly, completely, irrevocably. Thank goodness Kyoani loves them as much as I do and changed directors after _S2_ , giving us _Starting Days_ , _Timeless Medley_ , _Take Your Marks_ and the Makoharu fest that is _S3_. I knew I'd write Makoharu one day and here I am, a year later, more knowledgeable about the characters, the story and the fandom than any sane person should be – in other words, a fan and, more specifically, a Makoharu fan. More chapters to come.  
**

 **End – Chapter 1 - Cabotage**


	2. At Sea

As the glow of sunset fades, the harborside comes alive with white lights winking in the curbside trees. It's pretty in an urban way. Haru thinks about a hot meal, preferably mackerel, and a long soak in the tub, doubting sleep will come easily, if at all.

…you can't gain that kind of strength without throwing something else away…

...I want to support you both…

...you can have what you both know you both want…

"Haru, about what Rin said—" Makoto says behind him, interrupting Haru's thoughts and while he's trying to sound casual, Haru hears the anxious undertone.

"Don't worry about it." He tosses off the words, deflecting his own concerns.

"I-I'm not, that is—except—" Makoto's phone chimes. "Ah. That must be the taxi on its way. I'll let the driver know we're here," he adds a bit too brightly. When Haru looks over his shoulder, he sees Makoto jogging across the park towards the taxi stand instead of waiting for them to walk together. His brow knits.

Haru picks up his bag and follows, his eyes appraising Makoto's moving figure. He likes the fact that it's larger than his own, and stronger. He shakes his head, dismissing the sudden image of Makoto pushing him against a wall and getting closer. But it's too late; his blood is already warming.

They're not memories, nor fantasies, unless you count random erotic dreams that include such images as such, but Haru doesn't. He loves Makoto like a brother, right? But he'd be lying if he didn't admit that since coming to Tokyo, he's begun seeing his best friend as "outsiders" do – not as the sweet boy from Iwatobi High School's Class 1A that all the girls think is cute, but as a new college snack to be tasted by both girls and guys daring enough to try while Haru is around. He doesn't know what happens when Makoto is at his uni except what Makoto tells him, but he doubts Makoto tells him everything.

The heat of the day is just beginning to seep away and Makoto is waiting at the curb, looking back at Haru, a breeze off the water ruffling his slightly shaggy hair. He needs a haircut, Haru thinks, but it doesn't look bad 'cause Makoto never looks bad. In fact, a pair of girls is approaching him now and stopping to speak with him. Again. Friends from school or simple admirers, it's likely to be either.

What used to be mildly irritating, however, now holds an intensity Haru doesn't dare define. It's like Iwatobi, only worse, because nobody in Tokyo understands that Makoto and he are…what? Rin's words about friendship becoming something more hurt his brain, but also intrigue him more than he wants to acknowledge.

Being attracted to boys is something Haru's known about himself almost as early as being attracted to water. Water is just easier, whereas relationships are complicated and messy and best kept at a distance. Sexual urges, ergo, have always been sublimated into his passion for swimming, when his cool land persona dissolves into a sensual expression of a quasi-sexual communion with water so unique that it pervades the space around him, affecting those who swim near him. They call it talent, but what is talent but focused eros, after all.

Haru's steps slow as he nears the group, watching Makoto being Makoto while the girls chat him up while checking him out, top to bottom, literally. Makoto is either oblivious or modest in his reaction to such attention, but Haru seethes.

It's no surprise that his friend has at least a dozen new numbers in his phone, mostly from girls, and that he gets both calls and texts from both girls and guys inviting him to hang out on a regular basis. He's warm, friendly, attractive; and a small voice at the back of Haru's mind adds, _mine_.

Still, it's not like he's done a thing about it or even said a word to Makoto to make him consider their relationship different than it's been. Makoto has hinted at deeper feelings for Haru, one way or another, since middle school and Haru has never been anything but honest with him. Somehow, it's worked. He still remembers…

They're sitting side by side on the floor of Makoto's bedroom playing video games on a Saturday afternoon while his parents take Ren and Ran to a birthday party. They're both 11 so they're allowed to be on their own as long as they don't allow anyone else in the house.

"Makoto," Haru says, his body turned towards him as he watches his friend's profile watching the screen ahead of them. The lights from the game dance in his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Let's look up stuff on your dad's computer."

"Like what?"

Haru pauses for a few seconds, then says without emotion, "Sex."

Makoto stops playing. "Again?"

"Yeah. All we found last time was stuff about having babies."

Makoto feels his cheeks growing warm but he's also interested in the idea. "What if we're caught?"

"We won't be and if your parents get home we'll close the screen and say we were doing research for a school project."

"It is research, right?"

"For life."

"True," Makoto says, but there's a shred of hesitancy in his voice.

"I wouldn't bug you about it, but you know I don't have a computer of my own yet. I've asked for one, but my parents say not until high school which is next year. Besides, you have questions, too, don't you?"

Haru's straightforward approach and Makoto's own curiosity lead them to pause their game and head to the living room where the family computer is located on a low table set to one side of the room. They figure out how to change the security setting to "private browsing," then word search "sex." They get lots of articles, all medically related, thanks to the family-friendly filters installed by Mr. Tachibana. Still, it's better than nothing.

"This is dumb," Haru says. "I know what people look like naked and I have lots of manga. Everybody does. But where does it tell you _how_ people do it?"

"Haru, don't play dumb. You know what happens when guys get, you know, excited, right?"

"Your chinchin stands up."

"And that's what dads put inside moms to make a baby."

Haru almost smirks, then says, "That makes sense, but what about two guys or two girls?"

Makoto seems genuinely confused by that question but Haru is waiting, so he says, "I guess they do other things, but they can't make a baby so why would they have sex at all?"

"Now you're playing dumb," Haru says. "I'm not sure about girls but when you touch yourself, it feels good so it must feel good if somebody else touches it, too."

Makoto nearly whispers though it's just the two of them. "Do you touch yours?"

"All boys do," says Haru with an air of authority that belies his stated ignorance, following up his statement with, "and you do, too, so don't deny it."

Makoto sounds defensive when he says, "Only if it's stiff when I wake up. I don't plan it."

"So you've never touched yourself just to get hard?" Haru's disbelief is clear.

"Nope."

"I don't believe you."

"Well, maybe I don't have to. Maybe I've got more of that testarone stuff the website says makes us masculine."

"It's testosterone and you're pretty funny." Haru falls backwards until he's lying on his back with his knees facing the ceiling, his hands covering his mouth so Makoto doesn't hear his stifled giggles.

Embarrassed, Makoto launches a side attack, kneeling beside Haru, trying to pry his hands away from his mouth. "Take it back."

Haru shakes his head and a muffled "No!" is heard behind his hands.

Makoto straddles Haru's waist and they continue to struggle. As they do, Haru drops his hands and gains the advantage, flipping Makoto beneath him, his body covering Makoto's fully as Makoto squirms beneath him. Still having a slight weight advantage over his friend, he breathes in the scent of Makoto's neck and processes the feel of Makoto's body warm beneath his own.

An unexpected surge of warmth flushes through him and Haru's focus falters with a sharp intake of air and several blinks. Makoto uses the moment to roll Haru off of him and switch their positions, pinning Haru's hands on either side of his head. "Take it back," he says looking into Haru's wide eyes, his pupils large and dark, his breathing quick and shallow.

Makoto sits back on his haunches, tugging Haru's trousers taut in doing so. That's when he notices the small bulge in Haru's crotch. He freezes, eyes wide, then scrambles off to one side. "I'm sorry, Haru. I didn't mean to do that to you. I'm sorry," he apologizes, two fingers covering his lips.

Haru sits up and bends one knee to disguise his state, looking down at himself, then away. "S'okay. You didn't mean to do it. I know that."

"But, Haru. I mean, we've wrestled lots of times. That's never happened before. Are you…?"

Haru looks back at Makoto, his blue eyes normal again. "Homo? I know I'm different than other boys, so probably. Just promise me this will stay between us, okay?"

Makoto has already considered this new aspect of Haru and accepted it unconditionally, but he's concerned about other people's reactions. "You know I won't say a word. Are you okay with this?"

"Being gay? I have to be.

"Maybe it will change."

"Not likely, but since I don't think I'll ever get married unless I can marry water, I'll be fine."

"Don't you want kids one day?"

"I just want to swim. And be friends with you."

"Well, duh. I'll always be your friend, Haru. Always."

"Ah."

They're quiet, digesting what's just happened. Makoto clears the cache on the computer and shuts it down.

"Haru."

"Hm?"

"Just to be fair about things, I don't think I'm gay but I don't really care if the person I marry is a guy or a girl, not that guys are allowed to marry each other in Japan, anyway. But I have thought about it and as long as I love the person, that's enough. We'd figure out the sex stuff." Makoto pauses, then adds, "I would like kids, though."

"You'll be a great dad, Makoto."

Makoto beams at the compliment. "You think?"

"Hell yeah."

"Thanks."

Haru gets up and straightens his clothes. Makoto looks like he wants to say something else, but doesn't. Finally, he says, "Do you want something to eat? My mom made butter cookies and the twins haven't eaten them all, yet."

"Sounds good."

Makoto heads into the kitchen and in the quiet of the living room, Haru murmurs under his breath, "I'd marry you," then follows.

Now, as Haru approaches the taxi stand, Makoto turns towards him, his smile changing from general to specific. "Haru, this is Kaiya-san and Sanyu-san. They attend my uni and work at the bookstore I was telling you about. They saw us on the beach and recognized you from the meet."

Haru nods to be polite, for Makoto's sake. "It's nice to meet you both."

The girls respond in a similar manner. They look like freshmen, like themselves, pretty enough with trendy outfits. The one with purple hair tips giggles. "My friends just call me San-chan. You can, too."

Haru remains silent but looks at Makoto, a minute twitch of brow saying, "really?" The taxi pulls up then, curbside door swinging open.

Makoto says, "You probably know Kaiya-san's brother, Toshiro-san, since he's on your swim team. The girls were at the meet today and saw you swim, too."

"It's nice to meet you, Nanase-san," Kaiya says. "Toshiro has mentioned your name as one of the new swimmers to watch."

"Today wasn't my best day."

"It's like that sometimes. You'll do better tomorrow."

"I will. Makoto, we should go."

"Sure. Um, do you ladies need a ride? We can share."

"Actually, I have a car, but thanks," Kaiya says.

Sanyu murmurs something to her and Kaiya nods. "Listen," she says. "After the meet, there's going to be a get together at my home. Why don't the two of you come?"

Haru immediately responds, "We have friends from out of town visiting. It would be rude not to be with them."

"Bring 'em along," Sanyu drawls. "Kaiya and Toshiro throw _the_ best parties." Then she winks at him and Haru looks away.

Haru knows that his Iwatobi friends must leave immediately following the meet, but partying is the last thing he wants to do, especially with these two, but Makoto is giving him puppy eyes, so he soughs air through his nose as he nods assent. Makoto gives him a smile that almost makes agreement worthwhile.

"We'll be there," Makoto says, turning back to the girls. "What's the address?"

"I'll text it to you," Kaiya says, looking up at him through her lashes and pressing a hand against his chest. "So glad I ran into you. You're a difficult guy to pin down but maybe now I'll finally have a chance to get to know you better." She tips her head to one side in a coquettish move which Haru thinks looks ridiculous.

"See you tomorrow," Haru says in a definitive manner with a nod before moving towards the taxi.

"Oh, uh yeah," Kaiya says, nodding at his retreating figure.  
"Nice to meet you, Nanase-san," she calls.

"We should go, too, Kaiya," Sanyu says. "You can flirt at the party."

"San-chan!" Kaiya blushes, pretending to be shocked, but Makoto is watching Haru, a fact Kaiya notes when she turns back to look at him.

Sanyu shrugs. "C'mon, I'm hungry. See you, Makoto-san." She turns towards to Haru, "Good luck tomorrow, Nanase-san" then gives him a small bow. Grabbing Kaiya's arm, she pulls her friend away.

Haru is already zoning out, head tipped back against the seat, right earbud in and eyes closed when Makoto enters the taxi after stowing his backpack in the trunk beside Haru's bag. The other bud lay in Haru's open palm, resting on the seat beside his thigh, an invitation to Makoto if he wants to listen. The offer is usually accepted without hesitation or thought.

Today, however, Haru feels the warmth of Makoto's larger hand hovering over his own before his fingers slowly graze along his palm, curling to scoop up the bud as it does, then lingering, his pinky sliding across the inside of his wrist before leaving. The touch of Makoto's hand is familiar but this gesture is intimate and with his eyes closed, the sensation quickens Haru's heartbeat, wondering if what just happened really just happened. It would be embarrassing to ask what Makoto meant by it, more so if it meant nothing, so he does nothing. But he wonders.

The minutes tick by and it will be at least thirty minutes in traffic before they reach either of their apartments, so they both relax and share music. Haru opens his eyes, hoping Makoto's are closed. They are, with his head dropped forward, looking uncomfortable. Haru shifts, tugging at Makoto's jacket until his friend's head jostles against Haru's shoulder. Stupid Makoto. First he flirts with him, if that's what that hand touch was, then he gets embarrassed and tries to avoid making contact with him.

Haru looks past Makoto's profile but purposely leans into his shoulder. In response, Makoto's eyes open. Seeing Haru's face so near, he pulls back.

"Uh, sorry, Haru. I didn't mean to lean on you like that," he says in a low tone suitable for the interior of a cab.

"It's fine."

Makoto sits up. "Do you want to get some dinner?"

"Actually, I think I'm just going to go home and get some rest."

"Yeah, that's probably best. You're going to do great tomorrow. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"And I'm glad you and Rin support my change of plans."

"Will your uni let you change majors?"

"It's not really a change of majors, just my concentration from education to sports medicine. Nao was telling me all about it since he's doing it, too."

"Is he?"

"He's the one who got me thinking about it in the first place. Then Ryuuji mentioned that I seemed to have a knack for working with athletes – meaning you, of course. But it was seeing Rin and you together at your training center that clinched it. I wanted to support your futures and being a trainer is the answer."

"Speaking of Rin," Haru says in a careful manner.

"Hm?"

"What do think about what he said today?"

Makoto's eyes widen and he looks at the cab driver, then back at Haru, whispering, "You don't really want to discuss that here, do you?"

"Why not?" Makoto tips his head towards the front seat. "Oh. Well, I was just wondering what you thought about Sosuke being a part of his plans."

"Oh, that."

"What did you think I meant?"

Makoto looks down, his cheeks warming. "Um, the other thing he said, but you said forget about it."

Haru's voice lowers. "I didn't mean it, exactly."

"Oh?" Makoto looks up and into Haru's eyes. Haru turns his head, unable to meet the earnest expression he sees, though he isn't sure why.

"I just think it's something he doesn't have any business saying. I didn't want you to be embarrassed."

"I appreciate that. I appreciate everything you do for me, Haru."

"I don't do that much."

"But you do. More than you know."

"That's the second time you've said that today."

"Is it?"

"You said it when you told Rin you understood where he was coming from."

"I did, didn't I?"

Haru looks back at this friend. "Parapraxis."

"Parawhatsis?" Makoto sounds confused.

"I learned about it in my Psych class. It's when you say something you really mean when you don't intend to say it."

"Does it? I'm impressed."

"What did you mean?"

"About?"

Haru huffs. "You said you understood what he meant." Haru's voice has gotten a bit louder and Makoto notices the driver cast a look at them through the rearview mirror.

"Can we talk about this in private, please? Listen, I have leftovers from when the group slept over. There might even be some mackerel."

Haru's voice drops in volume. "Fine. We'll have dinner at your place and then I'm going home. I really need to get some rest tonight."

"That's a good plan."

"Can we play some Animal Crossing, too?

Makoto smiles. "Whatever you like, Haru. I know it's been a tough day for you."

"Ah," Haru says in agreement, then changes the setting on his player. "Listen to this one; it's new," he says and the two boys settle back to share the latest megahit from a familiar J-pop group.

While they listen, Haru mulls over multiple thoughts while Makoto anticipates a nice, quiet dinner with his best friend. You know, the one he's been in love with since middle school.

 **End – Chapter 2 - Cabotage**

 **Author's Notes:** Happy with the way this chapter turned out considering how many times the muse changed her mind about the direction of the story. She finally decided and I'm thinking three chapters, four max, with the next installment to be posted by Yuletide. Sorry 'bout the wait, but with the holidays and all they entail, I need the time. But hang in, dear readers. Our boys are headed towards some fluffy, steamy, grown up moments. Thanks for reading.


	3. Tacking

Tacking ~ Zig-zagging so as to sail directly towards the wind (and for some rigs also away from it).

The summer evening has become a summer night and outside Makoto's apartment building tiny moths flutter around the streetlight. At the curb, the two friends disembark from the taxi and grab their bags. As he slings his backpack over one shoulder, Makoto sees a giant luna moth dance into the circle of light, as if on display, its striking green color and long tails making it a standout.

"How beautiful," he says, causing Haru to look up. The moth glides down until it lands on a nearby shrub, its wings gently folding and unfolding. Haru steps over to where it rests for a better look. "It's not a dolphin, but it is pretty."

Makoto murmurs, "Like you."

Haru turns his head. "What's that?"

"Nothing. Stay if you like. I'm going upstairs." Makoto leaves Haru behind, embarrassed by his slip, emotions he thought safely stowed away filling his heart once more. Haru's ambiguous words in the taxi regarding Rin's suggestion that their friendship cross the line into something more both exciting and scaring him.

He enters his apartment and breathes a deep sigh, vowing to get a hold of himself. Shoes are toed off and his back pack dropped in a corner before heading to the shower. He tosses his stiffened clothes into a hamper and steps under the spray. After soaping up and rinsing, he lingers, the clear, warm water soothing after the cool saline ocean. He doesn't hear the door to the apartment open, nor Haru entering the room until he speaks his name and the tall boy yelps in surprise.

"Ah, Haru. You surprised me."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle. Do you mind if I shower, too?"

"Sure. No problem. I'll be done in a—Haru?"

Haru has stripped out of clothing and stepped ahead of Makoto, but facing away, as though they were in the shower stalls at school instead of Makoto's cubicle. "This will conserve water and save you money," he says in so matter-a-fact manner that Makoto can't argue the logic.

"Uh, yeah. That's true. I'm almost done anyway."

Haru says, "You're not uncomfortable with this, are you? I mean, we bathed together as kids and showered at school a million times. And we're both guys."

"But, Haru…"

"Yes?"

"We're not kids anymore."

"So?"

"And this isn't school."

"I'm aware of that."

"And we might both be guys, but…"

Haru doesn't answer and Makoto doesn't continue, the only sound being water on tile pinging clear while water on flesh thuds, then quiets as it dissolves into rivulets that must have a sound of their own, though Makoto doesn't know what that might be. Maybe like the river against the shore, only quieter? Haru turns and takes a single step towards him and Makoto's promise of self-reserve ebbs.

"Haru, what-?" Before he can finish, Haru crosses his arms behind Makoto's neck, dragging his face down to his as he presses up on his toes and kisses him, catching his open mouth and tugging gently on his lips. Makoto moans softly, his hands drawing Haru close by the waist, their rising cocks pressed between them.

That's when he hears Haru's voice outside the sliding door. Makoto holds his breath and stills the hand on his cock as his fantasy dissolves with the soap bubbles washing down the drain.

"Makoto, I'd like to shower, too," the real Haru says, "and borrow a shirt. The mackerel in the fridge smells okay and I can start the rice. I know where everything is so," he pauses, then adds, "take your time." Makoto's eyes close tight as he releases a soft groan at the near-imperceptible tease he hears in Haru's final words.

He turns off the water, leaves the stall, scruffing a towel through his hair and wrapping a larger one around his waist, holding it at his hip. He slides the door open and exits in a rush, saying, "It's all yours, Haru-chan," before slamming directly into said namesake, the result being a flurry of apologies, a towel and clothing landing on the floor with one very unclothed Makoto standing in the kitchen and Haru sprawled against the wall.

Makoto tilts forward to retrieve the towel but grows bold, deciding to turn the tables and embarrass Haru, if he can actually achieve that since Haru seems impervious to the emotion. "You look like Spiderman," he says to his friend while straightening.

"And you look naked," Haru tosses back, his limbs sliding down until only his shoulder leans against the wall.

Despite blushing against his will, Makoto holds his ground, standing tall, a fist on one hip. "Do I look good?" he asks with arched brows.

Haru's mouth turns up a one end and he meets the green eyes directly. "You usually do."

"Thank you," comes the reply before Makoto picks up the towel and throws it over his shoulder, leaving Haru to watch his bare ass saunter across the room to his dresser.

"From both angles," Haru thinks before slumping his back against the wall. He doesn't blush, much; never has. He doesn't know why and doesn't care. It's helped him develop his cool persona and made him a formidable competitor, for no matter what heightened emotion he might actually be feeling, his face maintains its composure. Good thing, too, because right now Haruka Nanase would be blushing bright red for thinking salacious thoughts about his best friend.

Haru runs the shower as cold as he can stand it. He doesn't know what to do anymore. Rin's words reflect a sentiment he's been dwelling on for weeks. He wants to keep the friendship he has with Makoto, but he wants more. He can't pretend he doesn't. He's gay and he's curious, but he isn't stupid. Conversations with people are troublesome enough, let alone having sex which is definitely interactive, which means casual sex is o.u.t. The only person he's comfortable sharing that much of himself with is Makoto and though the finer details of gay sex are still a little fuzzy, he doesn't worry about that. They're healthy, fit and they'd be careful with one another. It's the emotional piece that makes him anxious. He knows Makoto loves him even if he doesn't say it. It's in every gesture, look and word he doesn't say. But Makoto won't confess again because he's done so already, not once but twice, and twice Haru has rebuffed him.

~0~

The first time, they're only twelve and hearing a love confession from your best friend is overwhelming, even if Haru does prefer boys over girls. He's just happy to have Makoto back at his side after feeling him drift away, so when Makoto says, "I love swimming and Haru-chan," he replies, "Of course I'll swim with you," leaving the rest unaddressed. Makoto accepts that, so it's alright. Meanwhile, Haru's parents are discussing leaving him with his grandmother to live and work in Tokyo, and he doesn't know whether he wants to stay in Iwatobi or go with them. On top of it all, his body is reacting to boys in ways most boys' bodies react to girls and he finds lots of boys attractive, though he enjoys spending extended time only with Makoto. It's confusing, but swimming sublimates his desires and their friendship prevails.

The second confession doesn't go so well.

The air is crisp on a clear autumn evening in Iwatobi. It's the middle of their first year in high school. Haru and Makoto are laying on the grass atop a plaid woolen blanket outside the temple looking up at the stars.

"There's Tsuzumi Boshi," Makoto says looking up at the drum constellation with its fishing trident consisting of three stars in a row, its legends particular to the history of fishing communities like theirs.

"Westerners call it Orion the Hunter," Haru says.

"I like Tsuzumi Boshi better. I like all the Japanese constellations better, but especially this one."

"That's because it means your birthday is coming soon."

Makoto sits up and looks down at Haru, whose hands rest beneath his head. Makoto thinks he's perfect with moonlight illuminating his pale skin and his blue eyes reflecting its light. The blanket is scratchy beneath the hand resting beside Haru and the air cool against his skin, but his body is warm as he wonders what it would be like to simply lean over and kiss him, just as he is. If he were brave, he'd do it, but he's not brave at all. Haru is sixteen and Makoto is fifteen. They're still classmates and best friends, after all these years. It's enough for Haru and Makoto seems content, though he's not.

So they talk. Or Makoto talks and Haru listens or seems to listen. It doesn't matter to Makoto. As long as Haru doesn't withdraw completely, he's okay. Otherwise, he's likely to lock himself in his house, call in sick to school and sit in the bathtub until he turns into a prune. It's been that way since Grandma Nanase's passing. If not for Makoto picking him up in the morning and keeping him abreast of their schoolwork, Haru will downgrade to 2B next year. The Tachibana family keeps an eye on him and Makoto has the thankless role of Haru's guardian angel. Haru's subdued nature has become stoic, his love of water morphing into obsession as he begins to wear jammers beneath his clothing so he can "feel the water" wherever he finds it. Competitive swimming used to keep him in the water all-year long, but then he quit competing, saying he preferred to swim only in the ocean, though Makoto suspects there are other reasons. It's all very odd, but it's what makes Haru, Haru, and sometimes, Makoto can't help prying.

"Say, Haru."

"Hm."

"Why did you quit swimming competitively?"

"Doesn't matter."

"But you love to race and you're the best in the water."

"Drop it."

"But—"

"I said drop it." Haru faces away and rolls onto his side. Makoto presses a fist to his lips in regret.

He drops down, mirroring Haru, scooting closer until he feels his body warmth. Haru doesn't move away. That's reassuring. "You know you can tell me anything and it's a secret."

"I know. Thanks. I mean, you, too. To me."

"Really?" A sigh of relief.

"Yeah. Why? Is there something you want to tell me?"

Makoto dips his head closer to Haru's ear. "Maybe."

"Don't do that. Either tell me or don't." There's irritation in his voice, but it's mild.

Makoto hesitates. Maybe it's not the right time, but if he's not brave enough to kiss Haru, at least he can tell him how he feels. "There's somebody I- I like in school."

Haru begins to turn back, but Makoto presses his hand against his shoulder. "Just stay there, okay?" Haru relents.

"Is it somebody in our class?"

"Could be."

"You've never said this before, so you must really like this person."

"I do. This person is special to me." The warmth in Makoto's voice is undeniable.

Haru gets up and looks down at the ocean from over the tangled hedge, white foam exploding as it hits the rocks. "I figured this would happen sooner or later."

Anyone who didn't know better wouldn't hear the tension in Haru's voice, but Makoto does. He follows, standing behind him. "Haru?"

"I'm fine. I'm happy for you. I knew you had a crush on me in middle school, but I figured you'd outgrow that. And you did."

Makoto hears this pronouncement with stunned ears. He gathers his courage once more. "It's not what you think."

Haru turns in place and looks into Makoto's earnest face. "Don't sugar coat the truth for me. We'll still be friends, but we won't see one another as often or be as close as we are now. I get it."

"It's not a girl that I like."

Haru pulls back. "Ah. I'm a little surprised, but—"

"It's you." Haru stares at him in silence. "You're the one that I like." Haru still stares. "Always have. I thought you knew." Still no reaction. "Say something. Please?"

"No." The word is said softy, but with firmness.

Makoto blinks several times. "W-What do you mean, no?"

"I can't be the one you like, ever."

Makoto's usually sunny brow wrinkles. "Why not?"

Haru looks away. "Because you're my best friend and we—" He grows more impassioned. "If things went wrong- I can't risk losing…that. Besides, my parents would never-" His voice softens so Makoto steps in closer to hear, sees the tremor of Haru's shoulders in the dappled shadow of the maple tree. "Let's pretend you didn't say what you just said, okay? I don't want to be mean about it, but please, Makoto. Please let it go. It's what's best." Makoto hears his distress.

Hurt, but disbelieving what he's hearing, Makoto says, "Listen to me. No one has to know but us." Haru shakes his head and tries to leave, but Makoto grabs his arm. His grip, always stronger than Haru can escape, keeps him in place. Makoto is torn inside. He wants to talk about this, but it's causing Haru pain so, in a quiet voice, he says, "If Haru doesn't feel about Makoto the way Makoto feels about Haru, Haru should say so and Makoto will let it go. Forever. Makoto promises."

Haru looks at him then, sees the honest feelings Makoto has for him, sees his hope for their return and the surety of the promise Makoto is making, knowing he will never bring his feelings up again if Haru asks it of him and he nearly breaks. His expression grows soft, with yearning for the most treasured person in his world close to overpowering the logic he uses to keep himself safe from ever being hurt again, even from the least likely person to hurt him. He struggles with indecision for several seconds, then his features go blank with resolve. Makoto's shoulders sag and he releases his hold.

"It's what's best," Haru whispers, his eyes downcast.

Makoto's eyes shimmer as he watches the boy he loves and who he knows loves him in return, surrenders to the demons that plague him. His voice is unsteady when he says, "It's not and we both know it." He pauses to keep his composure, then continues, his words laced with resignation, "but it's practical. Good night, Haru." Then he leaves.

That night, two pillows in two different bedrooms, in two different homes, of two different boys, are damp with tears. But their friendship remains intact, even though there are times when Haru hates Makoto for being so very Makoto and he loves Makoto beyond measure for the same reason. Makoto's feelings for Haru never change. In fact, they grow; but he keeps his word.

Neither of them speak about that night again. Neither of them have a romantic relationship with anyone else, either, the irony being that most who know them think they're a secret couple. Their friends are their swim club comrades and when Haru takes up competitive swimming again, tournaments become their saving grace, giving them a new focus and a new way to connect, the undercurrent of their deeper feelings always present beneath a carefully maintained façade.

It doesn't fool anyone but them.

~0~

Haru dresses and heads directly to the kitchen, calmer, but still thinking as he reheats the mackerel and steams the rice and vegetables. His feelings for Makoto haven't changed since that emotional night, but life has. It's more complex than ever.

It's like the first day they practiced karuta grabbing during middle school swim practice. He remembers Nao setting the bottlecap on the ground between them with Nao telling him that whoever grabbed the cap first at the whistle won the round. Haru was sure he would win yet, every time Makoto blew the whistle, the cap disappeared before he moved a muscle. He didn't have the skill set at the time to win the game. He learned, but it took time and practice. Haru doesn't have the skill set to navigate love, either. Not now, not yet. But with time and practice with a patient partner, he could learn, couldn't he?

Makoto is reading a novel on the futon while music plays in the background. Staring at the rice cooker, Haru has a sudden urge to head to his uni's athletic center for a calming swim rises, then a thought: does he need to feel the water or Makoto under his hands? The fact that he can't decide jangles Haru's nerves and his heartbeat feels irregular. It's uncomfortable, but exhilarating. Like racing, but different. Maybe it would be better if they just kept things the way they've always been. But his breath is coming quicker and the tendrils of heat circulating through his body as images of what Makoto and he could do with one another won't stop invading his thoughts.

He can't go back, not any more.

End - Chapter 3 - Tacking


	4. Full and By

Full and by ~ Sailing into the wind (by), so as to make sure the sails are kept full. Figuratively it implies getting on with the job in a steady way.

Makoto dons boxer-briefs and cargo shorts in front of the dresser beside his tatami-mat bed, futon still unmade from the previous evening's sleepover with their Iwatobi friends. He looks for a favorite shirt, then glances at Haru, who wears it. Smiling at the habit, he throws on a green tee, grabs a required text and lays down, trying to read. It's useless. His mind is focused on the figure setting chopsticks and napkins on the low table in front of him.

"I should be doing that," Makoto says, looking at Haru. "You're tired."

"You'll clean up, ne?"

Makoto nods, continuing to watch his best friend return to the kitchen. It's always been like this, he thinks. Their care of one another exists in equal measure, though Haru's efforts often go unnoticed because his expression remains neutral and his gestures are subtle, known only to those who experience his kindness. His memory for things important to others is uncanny, his efforts to keep relationships on an even keel kept quiet by choice. Haru doesn't make a big deal of the things he does for others because, to him, they're simply a part of being a friend, like when he suggested filling the pool with cherry blossom petals to surprise Rin back in high school.

Rin. The ginger's face comes to mind. They really have come a long way since elementary school. Makoto sighs, recalling with regret his envy of Rin's ability to match pace with Haru in the pool. Back then, he thought swimming was the only way he could share the airy world of high speed competition. Sure, he'd been scouted, too, but the small schools interested in him didn't have the program he wanted. He's glad, now, that he's chosen to work behind the scenes; glad he can remain close to Haru as they continue developing their careers without a rivalry that can either strengthen or tear a friendship apart. He doesn't know what will happen between Haru and Rin, but he'll do his best to keep things positive.

Their careers, especially Haru's career and the careers of others like him, will be his top consideration as a potential professional trainer. And when it comes to Haru, there's no room for distractions like… like what? Sex? Romance? Love? All of it, Makoto thinks, returning his focus to his book, except the kanji makes no sense. He lets the small volume fall open across his face.

"What are you overthinking now?" Haru says.

Makoto peeks over the top of the novel and sees plates laden with steaming food being set down. Haru takes his place on the floor cushion opposite Makoto, who pushes the thought of ravishing Haru aside before slipping down to the floor. Even dressed down, with unruly hair, wearing Makoto's oversized shirt and sweatpants, Makoto thinks him beautiful. No. He can't think like that. Even if Rin thinks they're already a couple, they're not. They're friends. Best friends and that's all they will ever be.

"Smells good," he says, revealing nothing of his inner turmoil.

"I don't like leftovers, but the seasoning was excellent so I pan-fried the mackerel and added a bit of mayonnaise to spice up the flavor."

Their simple blessing includes the food, those who provided it and those who made the wares used to prepare and serve it. Makoto mixes the fish with the rice and takes a bite. "You're amazing. This is even better than when I served it to the group, but it's Haru's cooking that's improved it."

"Thanks, but you're cooking is just fine since coming to Tokyo."

Makoto smiles. "It was either that, go broke buying take out or starve. But thank you just the same, Haru-chan." Haru scowls. "At least I don't use 'chan' when we're with other people."

"I wish you didn't at all."

"You'll always be Haru-chan to me." Haru looks as if he's about to say something, then goes back to eating his meal. There's no point in arguing what they both know to be true. No matter what Haru says, he doesn't really mind the pet name, its use a verbal reminder of a history spanning years. They continue their meal, Makoto sharing news the Iwatobi crew brought from home, simple neighborly items of interest that feel both familiar, yet distant.

"Where are they anyway?" Haru says.

"Sightseeing. They wanted to visit Harajuku Street and Akihabara, but they'll be at the meet tomorrow."

"We really should be with them instead of going to that party tomorrow night."

"We can celebrate with them until their train leaves or bring them along, if they can stay. I'm sure the girls won't mind."

"Maybe I do."

Makoto chuckles. "You do realize that if you go global, you're going to have to get used to talking to lots of different people."

"I'll deal with that when the time comes."

"I'm just glad we have some quiet time now though you must be pretty tired, huh?"

"I'd still like to play Animal Crossing, if you're up to it."

"If I'm up to it? You're the one who has a big race tomorrow."

"I'll be fine."

"You sound confident. I'm glad."

Haru sets down his chopsticks and places both hands on the table. "I'll swim on the global stage. That's certain. This year or the next, or whenever, and it will be on my terms no matter what Ryuuji says."

Makoto is taken aback by the speech. "What did he say?"

"He said if I wanted to swim at that level, I have to focus on only that and nothing else."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I need to give up what I consider important and that's not happening."

"Like…what?"

"You mean who." Haru refuses to meet Makoto's gaze.

Makoto's brow wrinkles in confusion, then startle. His mouth drops open, then closes, his cheeks coloring. "Me?" he says in a soft voice.

Haru nods. "Actually, all of my friends, but especially you."

"But why? Am I too distracting? 'Cause if I am, I'll stop coming to your practices. I don't want to be a burden to you, Haru. That's the last thing—"

"Stop!" Haru looks directly into Makoto's eyes and says this with such certainty, Makoto is silenced. "Don't even suggest changing who you are, especially for my sake."

"Haru," Makoto trails off, not knowing how to respond. "Maybe I could wait for you outside or shadow your trainers. That would be helpful to me now."

Haru's expression is its usual placid self once more. "I know you talked about changing your career path today. It made me happy. Even Rin thinks it's a good idea and he knows what being a pro trainer takes more than I do. Knowing that the two of you will be sharing that world with me _gives_ me confidence. I know we'll both work with you, one day."

Makoto hears the subtle emphasis Haru puts on the final two words. "But not now, ne?"

"Ryuuji says he has people in mind for me. He says they're experienced."

"I see." Makoto doesn't seem upset, but he unwinds to a standing position and begins clearing the table in silence.

Haru struggles to find a way to ease the disappointment he knows lay just beneath the deliberate calm Makoto presents, but having said what he thinks important, he lets the rest go. Pushing the table away from the futon, he sets up Makoto's laptop and the wireless controllers.

They brush their teeth and grab water bottles before settling beside one another on the futon, Haru sitting cross legged with Makoto sitting forward. The game resumes where they left off and they fall into a familiar routine and yet, something is different. The music for the level they're on is one of ocean waves and it reminds Makoto of Iwatobi just as the harbor did earlier. It soothes him. He usually chats about the game as he plays, a way of thinking out loud, while Haru adds his own strategy suggestions. Tonight, however, Haru is quiet. Too quiet, even for Haru.

Makoto turns his head and sees Haru watching, not the game, but him. Actually, Haru is gazing at his mouth with a look in his eyes that tells Makoto that Haru is listening but thinking about something else altogether.

"Haru?" Makoto says, turning back to the game. "What's going on with you?"

When Haru doesn't answer, Makoto turns his head once more and notes that Haru's eyes hold a fondness he rarely shows these days. He likes that, so he smiles and the fondness deepens. At this point, the game is forgotten, controller still in hands, dropped into his lap. Makoto hasn't seen this side of Haru in a long time. Tokyo, schooling and practice have absorbed them both and they haven't spent as much time together as they used to do. But here, now, with last night's shared memories with old friends still with him, Makoto feels the way he used to whenever he and Haru were together. His pulse quickens and he wrestles with ignoring his thoughts or sharing them.

He's risked baring his heart before and been shut down. Painfully, definitely. But this isn't Iwatobi, they aren't kids anymore and there's nobody to interrupt them because the door is locked and only he and Haru have keys. And he's tired, so tired of pretending he's okay with being just friends when every molecule in his body wants, wants, wants the person beside him. Wants to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him and make him feel good. Wants to run his hands over every cut line of his beautiful body and tell him how much he adores him.

And then Makoto has a realization. Sitting there, he realizes his eyes have been caressing that body and that every thought, every emotion, has been said without being said. Looking back into Haru's eyes, he knows he can't deny it. Any of it. He drops his head with a small groan. "Sorry," he murmurs. He turns back in place, tries to resume his game.

"Makoto," Haru says in quiet voice. "Look at me." Makoto shakes his head. "Please?" Haru reaches over, placing his hand over the controller in Makoto's hands to quiet them, then tugs. Makoto allows the unit to be taken and set aside as Haru moves until he's on the floor, kneeling between Makoto's legs, trying to look up into his face. "Are you trying to make this difficult? Because it's working."

Makoto lifts his face at that and sits upright, without looking at Haru, prepared to be told it's okay, just don't let it happen again. Instead, Haru moves in closer, his abdomen just shy of nestling against Makoto's crotch, his arms resting on Makoto's thighs. Makoto forces himself to breathe normally, to think nothing.

"I'm the one who should apologize. To you," Haru says. Makoto's eyes widen but as he opens his mouth to protest, Haru continues. "I do love being in the water and swimming without rules or clocks or training schedules, but I also love winning and you can't have one without the other. You can't have it both ways."

Makoto's shrugs. "So?"

Haru leans in further, his arms at Makoto's hips. "I've tried to play it both ways with you, too." Makoto looks at Haru, not knowing whether to be worried or hopeful. "I'm not good with words, like you. But there are things we've said to one another I know neither of us will ever forget."

"We've both said and done things we regret. We make up. We always do."

Haru's tone becomes agitated. "That's just it. We patch things up but we never get to the root of the problem."

Ah, Makoto thinks. Here's where Haru sets things straight. Sets me straight. Again. He pushes away from Haru until his back hits the wall, knees drawn up, feeling weirdly detached, as if watching things from a distance. Has it always been this way between them? This endless game of hide and seek with Haru always hiding and himself always seeking? He regards the boy, now a young man, kneeling before him and he simply huffs, "huh."

Haru looks confused. "W-what?"

Makoto is serious when he says, "I've been thinking about what Rin said today and I think he may be right. You really can be a prima donna."

"Hey." Haru is irked.

Makoto tilts his head to one side. "Oh. Am I not allowed to call you on your faults like Rin does? Or am I just supposed to be your lapdog, at your beck and call, your real life Mako?" He emphasizes the name just like Rin did that afternoon.

The startle in Haru's face is priceless and while it hurts Makoto to see it, he also feels a subtle satisfaction creep into his psyche. It's not like him, but living in the city on his own has helped him develop a sense of self-preservation and a reality check about the world. Without realizing it, he's been growing up, becoming his own man.

It's time.

"Makoto, who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

Makoto relents, unable to continue without feeling guilty for the rest of his life. His gentle smile returns, but with a new sense of control about the situation. "I'm still me, Haru, but I'm not exactly the same person I was even a few months ago. Neither are you. And that's as it should be. I'm not even sure why we're apologizing to one another when we're not guilty of anything except being friends who care about one another."

Haru stands, walks across the room to look out a window at the street below where the moths still flutter beneath the streetlight. "Is that all we are now?"

Makoto hears the sorrow in his voice. He looks at the figure of the boy he's known since childhood, the boy he's played games with, followed on adventures, did homework and studied with, the one who saved his life and who he's encouraged every step of the way in his quest for a dream. And, of course, the one who he slowly but surely realized he loved and told before he even knew what the words meant and again, when he did, before locking those feelings away because he was asked to do so. And now, now when he loves him still, ready to take on the world for his sake or keep those feelings ever kept at bay if that's what he needs, Makoto finally asks the question he's wanted to ask for so many years.

"What do you want from me, Haru?"

End – Chapter 4 - Full and By  
Cabotage

 **Author's Notes:** I know you're hoping for some sort of consummation with this chapter, but as it unfolded, it began to top 5k so I've split it into two parts, calling this Chapter 4. Chapter 5 to be posted by Sunday evening. I promised the boys and I promise you, my readers – you will like it. Yes. You will.


	5. Safe Harbor

**Note:** The background music playing during this chapter is "Island (Night)" from Animal Crossing - New Leaf. It's appropos, so if you enjoy listening while you read, that's what I suggest. It can be found on You Tube with a long-playing audio loop available. Animal Crossing, btw, has been popular in Japan since 2002, which means Makoto and Haru have been playing one version or another since childhood. So them.

 _"What do you want from me, Haru?"_

Haru stands motionless, then moves across the room at a rapid pace, but not before Makoto jumps up and intercepts him at the door, grabbing his wrist and forcing him to turn.

"I don't know," Haru says in a heated fashion.

"Then tell me how you feel, right now. Tell me," says Makoto, equally heated. He steps in closer and Haru steps back, stopped only by the door, turning his face away, breath uneven.

"We can't get into this now. I have a race tomorrow. I can't think about this." Haru stops, blinking several times before dropping his head.

It's reminiscent of another place and time and Makoto is, once more, torn. He releases Haru's wrist, arms falling to his side. In a soft voice, he says, "We've been here before, haven't we?"

"Ah."

"And if you tell me to let it all go because that's what's best, I will because I always want what makes you happy, but I sometimes wonder if what I want matters to you at all."

Haru looks at him, then, his expression troubled. "You've always mattered. From the day I met you. But I can't say what I want from you except I don't want to lose what we have."

Makoto draws closer, his body heat infusing Haru's natural coolness as he invades his personal space. Releasing a breath that ruffles the hair at Haru's temple, he says, "Why do we have to lose anything? Haven't you ever wondered if we could actually be more instead of just wondering about it?" He forces himself to commit this moment to memory, in case this all he'll ever have of the man he loves.

Haru leans his forehead into Makoto's shoulder. "Do you know what I wished for on that star tonight?"

"Honestly, I thought it was odd when you said wishing on a star worked. I didn't think you believed such things."

"I don't, but it seemed to work for Ikuya so I figured I'd give it a shot."

Makoto's smile returns. "I wished that you'd win tomorrow, but I know you will, anyway. What did you wish for? The same thing, right?"

Haru lifts his head to meet Makoto's gaze. "I wished that, no matter what happens tomorrow or the next day or the day after, that we can stay together. I won't sacrifice our friendship for anything. I want you to know that."

It's a pretty speech and Makoto knows it's sincere, even if it re-establishes the status quo. He's the one who looks away then, his smile still on his lips, but not in his eyes. "I do." He pulls back, already missing the warmth of Haru's body, before being surprised by Haru grabbing him by the front of his shirt with both hands.

He sees Haru looking down, as if speaking directly into his heart, "And I want to tell you that - I'm sorry for hurting you that night - long ago - but I didn't know what to do back then, about how I felt." Then softer still, "How I feel."

Makoto swallows, trying to decipher what Haru is actually saying, but his jumbled emotions confuse the meaning and there's only one way to know the truth. He places two fingers beneath Haru's chin. Haru doesn't resist, allowing his face to lift until they're looking into one another's eyes once more. And there, in the clear blue eyes of Haruka Nanase, Makoto has his answer. He releases a quiet breath, his heart full, but ready to be shattered once more.

"If," Haru continues, "Makoto doesn't feel the same way about Haru as Haru feels about Makoto anymore, Haru will understand." For several seconds, Makoto's mind refuses to process the words, but his body reacts, pressing Haru against the door, one hand behind his head so it doesn't bump as the other comes to rest on his shoulder. "But Haru hopes, somehow, that he remembers because—"

Makoto presses a kiss to Haru's forehead, then retreats upon hearing Haru's soft gasp. "Sorry, sorry," Makoto says in apology. "It's just that—"

Warmth, pressure and a tiny bit of moisture against his lips is the next thing Makoto feels as he realizes that he's being kissed. On the mouth. By Haru. Every fantasy he's ever had of this moment pales to the way it feels in reality, an arc of pure heat flaring in his groin, short circuiting logic.

Before the kiss ends, he takes a second and third with a sweet hunger born of long-repressed need. A quick breath between them and Haru returns the gesture with passion, a growl issuing from the back of Makoto's throat as he angles Haru's face with both hands. Haru's hands press flat against his chest, then around his sides and up his back, clutching as if he'll never let go. Every place he touches burns and it's all too much, yet not enough. When they finally part, they're both breathing hard, but unwilling to release one another.

Haru soughs, catching his breath as he lay his cheek against Makoto's shoulder, looking outwards. Makoto kisses the nape of Haru's neck, breathing in his scent. Everything Haru is indelibly etched in Makoto's senses and, now, so is the feeling of holding him in his arms, his own body sparking everywhere. Kami-sama, they've been kissing, and it feels better than he even imagined it would. And he wants more. Now. He pulls back and as Haru lifts his face, he dips forwards, but Haru remains elusive.

"Something wrong?" Makoto asks, concerned he's fumbled.

"No," Haru says in a dozy tone and Makoto thinks it charming that he looks as dazed as Makoto feels. "It's just that we do have the place to ourselves," he adds with an arch of his brow.

Makoto nods as if considering the thought, biting at his bottom lip to prevent himself from grinning. "Soooo, Haru- _chan_ , what would you like to do?"

In a business-like manner, Haru takes Makoto's hand and pulls him into the center of the apartment, in front of the unmade bed. He looks at it, then Makoto. Makoto's eyes grow wide as he blushes, making incoherent attempts at speech. Haru says, "Just because I haven't does this before doesn't mean I won't be good at it. I've done research and I'm a quick study."

Still searching for words, Makoto sees the barest pull at one side of Haru's mouth, the tiniest tell no one but he would notice. Haru is being a tease. Makoto looks to heaven and sighs. Giving his partner a tender look, Makoto puts his arms around Haru's waist and draws him in. "How 'bout we take things one step at a time?"

Haru nods once, then puts his arms around Makoto's neck and pulls his face towards his own, their lips meeting in a series of soft, easy kisses that grow longer and deeper. Ever verbal, Makoto can't suppress the sounds that escape him as Haru weaves his fingers through sandy brown locks and Makoto's grip on him tightens.

Sensation fluxes through Makoto's body - adrenalin, endorphins and hormones triggering sexual response. And when Haru teases his bottom lip with his tongue, he groans and somehow manages to get them onto the futon without breaking contact, all the while amazed at the speed at which 'young and innocent' Haru has developed an acute interest in getting physical.

Upon parting, they find themselves sitting beside one another, facing in opposite directions. Makoto shifts back, leaning on one arm while the other tugs the vee of Haru's shirt aside, exposing a clavicle, and despite having seen Haru dressed in nothing but swimsuits for most of their lives, this small glimpse of flesh made available by his hands feels erotic and he can't stop himself from leaning in to kiss the skin there. He thinks himself bold until Haru pushes him backwards, sprawling over half his body, in one swift move. Makoto wonders what's next, then loses the ability to think when Haru's face hovers over his, then drops to take his mouth, inviting him to play by licking into it.

Haru's tongue slides against his own, wet and warm and alive, and Makoto lets him take the lead, meeting the inquisitive muscle with gentle laps of his own that seem to spur Haru on, his thigh pressing against Makoto's growing erection, creating another point of contact Makoto finds difficult to ignore. They pause and Makoto whispers, "I won't ever be able to get enough of you."

Haru eyes grow wide and he looks much like he did when Makoto first confessed. They've come far since then, in maturity and needs, but Makoto holds no expectations, so when Haru says, "Then it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere," he breaks into a wide smile and pulls Haru close.

Haru's lips are pressed against Makoto's neck and just as Makoto is about to release him, he feels a light nip, then sucking on the same spot. It happens again and Makoto no longer doubts Haru's claim to being a quick study. "Are you trying to leave a cherry blossom?"

"Do you like the way it feels?" Haru says before returning to his task of nipping at his neck, then sucking.

"But what if someone sees it? I work with kids, you know."

"Cover it with a band-aid."

"On my neck? Harruu. That'll just make them more curious. Besides, aren't cherry blossoms for high school kids?"

"So what do sophisticated college guys like us do?"

"Ummm, other things?"

"Fine. No cherry blossoms." Haru begins to slide down Makoto's body and Makoto grabs his shoulders.

Haru tips his head to one side. "Don't want that, either?"

"Well, yeah, but, I mean, that would be great and I love being with you like this, but…" Makoto looks away. "I know. I'm acting like a cherry boy."

Haru breathes out and moves upwards and onto his side, just as Makoto does, and they face one another. "Makoto, I know you're shy, but it's just you and me. I'm a cherry boy, too. "

"And- And you're the only person in the world I want to do stuff like this with, but this is all so new. I just don't think we need to jump into things all at once. Is that wrong?"

Haru shakes his head. "Let's try this." Haru moves closer, nesting just beneath Makoto's chin, his knee between the other's legs. He slinks his free hand beneath the back of Makoto's shirt, slowly running it up and down the sculpted muscles, scraping the skin lightly with his nails. Makoto hums approval, relaxing under the loving touch. Haru then splays his hand to caress the sculpted muscle of broad shoulders, then down the center of powerful traps, sliding back and forth over equally beautiful lats before moving his hand to rest on Makoto's abdomen.

Makoto is melting under such focused attention, so doesn't object when Haru's hand slides upwards to his chest, where his thumb brushes a nipple, evoking a sharp cry so he does it again, watching Makoto's eyes grow heavy-lidded as he does.

"You're making me crazy," Makoto murmurs, forgetting everything he just told Haru about taking it slow.

"That's good, ne?" Haru says, completely nonplused as he thumbs the other nipple.

Another small groan, then, "Verrry good, but—" Makoto suddenly leverages an unprepared Haru onto his back with Haru's inside knee bent upwards against a pillow haphazardly crushed against the wall, his outside leg falling beyond Makoto's hips. Balancing his weight as he settles between Haru's legs, he slides his sheathed cock against the bulge he feels beneath Haru's sweats. Haru's eyes close as he gasps and Makoto groans. A second push has Haru squirming beneath him.

Makoto pauses and Haru breathes, "More," while trying to arch his hips in a way that will repeat the feeling. Makoto, however, seems in no hurry, using his larger and heavier frame to secure Haru's movement as he looks into his eyes.

"You know I think you're beautiful," he says. "I've always thought so. I never said it, but I do."

Haru stills. "Are you going to be all mushy now?"

"Probably."

Haru looks away for a few moments, then back. "I suppose I'll have to get used to it, then, won't I?" The tone is neutral but it's followed by a small, knowing smile.

"Good answer," Makoto says before undulating his hips and rubbing their swollen cocks together harder and deeper, making Haru whimper.

A slight shift of position allows Haru to push back and then they're rutting against one another in a rhythm that mimics their movements in the water. Still, the layers of fabric dulls sensation.

"Your sweats," Makoto pants against Haru's ear.

"What about 'em?"

"Would you mind removing them? Please?"

"So much for taking it slow, but yes, if you lose your shorts."

"Deal," says Makoto, unhappy to leave Haru's embrace but more than happy to make progress. He sits up and shimmies off his khakis while Haru stands and the sweatpants drop to the floor. They stop to consider one another for three seconds before Haru says, "I will if you will," and soon, a pair of gray boxer-briefs and blue-and-white striped trunks are on the floor. They've seen one another naked before, but doing so while sexually aroused is altogether different.

Haru has never been shy about his body and isn't now. Makoto's oversized shirt hangs like a dress on him, but Makoto can still see a healthy cock, stiff and erect, peeking out from beneath the hem. Modesty keeps him from showing off in similar fashion but when Haru gives him a look that says, "your turn," he leans back on one hand, his shirt gathering on his abs, revealing a sizable, thick, erect cock. Haru's reaction is subtle, but Makoto reads the double blink of his eyes as one of surprise. He feels a bit smug.

He pushes into the center of the futon and sits cross-legged. Haru stands at the edge of the bed and pulls off his shirt. Makoto mirrors the action as Haru crawls across the quilting, then into Makoto's lap, their cocks brushing as he does so, causing them both to pause at the immediate thrill. They look at one another with lust now as Haru settles into his Makoto-chair, crossing his ankles behind Makoto's back for stability and resting his forearms on his shoulders. Makoto looks into Haru's eyes, his love and desire shining through. "You aren't going to regret this tomorrow, are you?"

"No regrets."

"Good because I…" Makoto pauses.

"I know. Me, too, and for a long time." Their mouths meet, their kiss deep and slow and like the ocean meeting the shore, they saturate one another's senses and the world around them disappears.

Haru's body is cooler than Makoto's, but his cock is velvety smooth, firm and warm. Makoto is usually warm, but is now a furnace. Makoto sighs Haru's name against his mouth as they part for breath. Their cocks pulse against one another, pressed between their hard bodies. Makoto slides a hand under one of Haru's thighs, pulling it outward to create space large enough for his other hand to wrap around both cocks.

Haru begins to rock, thrusting into Makoto's grasp. He closes his eyes, inhaling with each thrust and sighing with pleasure as he slides back. Makoto adjusts his handhold from time to time, as well as the speed at which his hand glides up and down their shafts, thumb alternating its focus on the sensitive heads, his own climax building through the relentless friction they're creating. Makoto's groans start off soft, but grow louder as intensity builds over time.

Makoto feels the urge to finish off, but he can't do that and still watch the love of his life finding ecstasy while treasuring the fact that he's the only one allowed the view. He murmurs into Haru's ear, "Are you close?" They stop moving and Haru, breathless, looks at him with hooded eyes.

"Together," he whispers.

Makoto begins stimming their cocks in quick, staccato strokes. Haru presses his forehead to Makoto's and their moans and gasps urge one another to completion. Finally, with several intakes of breath, Haru climaxes in near silence but for a few shuddered cries. Makoto follows, throwing back his head and issuing a loud, long sound of satisfaction. As orgasm throttles through them, their seed spurts between their bodies as they cling to one another. The spasms diminish in power leaving only a complete and utter sense of well-being.

Unknown minutes pass. Makoto returns to himself and realizes that Haru has fallen asleep, his head resting on his shoulder while cradled in his arms. He carefully disengages and lays him down, propping pillows against the wall behind his back. He cleans up in the bath, dons a pair of cotton pajama pants and returns with a warm, wet washcloth and fluffy towel. He cleans up Haru then covers him with a light blanket.

In the kitchen, he rummages in the fridge. There's still cake from the prior evening but instead of cutting a slice, he takes the entire box with him and a fork. He turns off all the lights and the computer, then settles on the floor beside the sliding door leading to the balcony, left open a crack to allow fresh air into the apartment. He takes in a deep breath of night air. It doesn't smell like the ocean, the way it does in Iwatobi, but it's magical because it's the first night he and Haru are lovers.

As he eats chocolate cake out of the box, not caring about appearances or calories, he looks over at the sleeping figure. He doesn't know what tomorrow will bring or how this change in their friendship will affect their futures, but one thing is certain. They can never, ever, go back to pretending they don't love one another, but have for a long time.

After only a few bites, he stores the remaining cake in the fridge and brushes his teeth one last time. When he returns to the main room, Haru is sitting up, sweats on, running a hand through his hair.

"Hey," Haru says.

"Hey yourself. I don't suppose you want something to eat, do you?"

"No, but I can think of something else I want." He winks at Makoto. Winks!

Makoto smiles. "You need rest. You have a meet in the morning, as I recall."

Haru glances at the alarm clock on Makoto's dresser. "I've already missed the last train so I guess I'll have to stay here. At least we can share your bed now."

Makoto shakes his head. "Nanase Haruka, you need to sleep and if we sleep in the same bed tonight, we probably won't sleep very much, so I am going to sleep on the spare futon."

Haru stares at Makoto. "Don't be stubborn. We've shared a bed before."

"We were friends then."

"And we're friends now."

"You know what I mean."

Haru deadpans, "You don't love me anymore."

"See? There you go being a prima donna again."

"It is what it is."

For a few seconds, Makoto worries, then relaxes. Being lovers as well as friends is going to be a learning experience, but they'll manage it. He pulls out a basic futon from the closet and lays it beside the futon on the frame, then sets the alarm clock for their morning swim.

As they settle down, Haru lay close to the edge, their faces close. "Makoto," he says in quiet voice.

"Eh?"

"About that party tomorrow."

"We said we'd go."

"I know, but I think Kaiya-chan likes you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I don't want her or anyone else thinking you're available."

"Does that mean I'm your kareshi? You haven't asked."

"You're kidding."

"Then again, neither have I. So...Haruka…I really like you so, please go out with me?"

"You're an idiot."

Makoto chuckles. "Well?"

"Yes, I'll go out with you. And I like you, too. Happy now?"

Makoto reaches for Haru's hand and Haru grabs it, letting them drop onto Makoto's futon. "You've no idea. Now get some sleep. That's an order from your one-day-soon-professional-trainer."

"Ah, then I better do as told. Good night, Makoto."

"Sweet dreams, Haru."

There's silence for a minute. "Makoto?"

"Eh?"

"Don't worry about the cherry boy thing. I think our mutual virginity is already compromised and on the verge of disappearing very soon."

"Not tonight."

"No, but soon."

"Soon." Makoto sounds wistful. "I like the sound of that." Then, as if speaking to his younger siblings, "Now go to sleep."

Their friendship has evolved or maybe it's just moved from one place to another, courtesy of an outside agent named Rin Matsuoka. They're on a journey and though there has been both fair weather and foul and there may be, again, they know there will always be a safe port available – in one another.

END – Cabotage  
Chapter 5 – Safe Harbor

 **Author's Notes:** So here we are. I wanted to portray young, early sexuality rather than experienced, mature sexuality, especially between two young men living in gay-intolerant, touch-avoidant Japan. And I wanted to portray their characters as true to canon as I see them while adding depth. It was a challenge, but also gratifying bringing these characters together in a loving and realistic way. And if I've done both the writing gods and the characters justice, I'm content. And who knows? If the muse is gracious and there's a demand, a more explicit story may be forthcoming. Thank you to all who have supported this project as it unfolded and to those who continue to express positive thoughts. It means everything to me.


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